Matters of poker etiquette are not rules, per se, but manners. Yet, they relate to the orderly maintenance of the game and civility among those who participate in the game. A player who repeatedly violates these principles of poker etiquette is a disruption to the game, and accordingly ought to be subject to discipline, up to and including ejection from the game and being suspended or barred from the cardroom. As a practical matter, application of this principle rests completely within the discretion of management. The floorperson must exercise particularly good judgment in enforcing it, since many of the issues involved are subjective. That subjectivity is the reason that these matters are not rules. Not withstanding that, a player should respect and play the game in conformity with the principles of poker etiquette.

A player should not talk across a player who is involved in a hand. In the United Kingdom, no talking is allowed during the play of a hand. That would really be tough for my Florida friend, who requires duct tape across his mouth to shut him up. An acquaintance of mine dubbed him a "headset case," meaning that every time he sits down at your table, you want to put on your headset and crank up the music. Chatting is fine, but it never should reach the point where it interferes with the flow of the game.

Needling is a breach of poker etiquette. While some think that it's an appropriate tactic to set a player off, it always hurts the game more than it helps it. Postmortems and critiquing other players' poker decisions also is a violation of poker etiquette. While acting is acceptable within limits -- and is even part of the game -- it can get out of hand. Perhaps the worst kind of poker banter is giving lessons. As I've written before, it's bad for poker on many different levels to tell a player at the table what's wrong with his play. Lessons are always next Tuesday, and never should be given at the table.

Use of profanity and obscenities is a violation of poker etiquette, and principles of political correctness notwithstanding, it is even more true when there's a woman at the table. No player should create a disturbance by arguing or shouting. A player can quit anytime without criticism, and no one should be rude about it.

At no time should any player make statements that could unfairly influence the play of a hand, whether or not the offender is involved in the pot. When two queens flop and you're trying to represent that you hold one, it will really hurt you when someone who is not in the hand mutters to his friend, "Damn! I had a queen."

Respectful treatment of dealers also is part of poker etiquette. Cards never should be thrown at dealers, or even into the tray or muck, where they might bounce and catch a dealer in the face. Whatever your results at the table, it's never the dealer's fault, although it may seem to be otherwise, sometimes. Rudeness about dealers that is verbalized to other players or even to no one in particular is essentially the same as rudeness to a dealer, and it's wrong.

Cards should be discarded on a low line of flight so that people can't see them, should be directed to the muck with an effort made to not hit the dealer's hands, and should not be thrown hard. Chips should be placed as far forward as reasonably possible to make it easier for the dealer to scoop them. Deliberately discarding cards or placing chips beyond a dealer's reach is out of line, and so is stacking chips in a way that interferes with dealing or viewing of cards or conceals how much you really have in play.

A player who expects to win the pot should show down his hand immediately. Asking to see hands unnecessarily is bad manners and a waste of time, and generally is bad for the game.

Using an excessive amount of time to make a play that one knows will be made is a violation of poker etiquette, as is any other behavior that deliberately stalls the action of the game for no legitimate purpose.

Players should speak up when they see an error such as an improper amount of a bet, a card going to the wrong person or a flashed card, or the pot about to be incorrectly awarded.

Players should manage their table space in such a way as to be fair and reasonable to other players. In cardrooms where tables are provided behind players, nothing should be permitted on the table except chips, cash, and a token with which to cover cards. In cardrooms that do not provide tables, be aware if you are infringing on another player's space. If leaving the game for an extended period, advise the floorperson and the dealer. Unless you have a strong objection or it is prohibited by the rules of the establishment, advise them that it is all right for another player to play over you. Don't lean forward or backward to see a player's cards (although you definitely are not obliged to look away). It is proper for an opponent to complain when a player constantly has the opportunity to see another's holecards, and it's improper to complain when someone exercises this right.

Don't deliberately act out of turn, splash the pot, or reveal the contents of your hand before the betting is complete when you're all in. Verbally announce your action so that there is no confusion. A player who is going all in or playing behind should announce that fact. If you step away from the table when your blinds are due, advise the dealer of your intention. Know when it is your turn, put blinds in timely, and use increments of correct change. If the pot is raked, put the small change into the pot if you have it, to make it easier for the dealer. Do what you can to make the game run more smoothly.

When I visit my Florida friend, I often play in his regular private game. Known alternately as the House of Pain (for its poker results) or the Emergency Room (for its proximity to a local hospital), it is run by a houseman named Dave. I have been very impressed with the way that Dave handles the 30 or 40 players who stop in three or four nights a week.

What impresses me is that Dave insists that his players conduct themselves in accordance with basic principles of poker etiquette. In fact, the only one I ever see get out of line is my pal. They tolerate him for his action, but even given that, he's been asked to leave for crossing the line. I think that's a good thing.

I've run pretty well in my visits to Florida, and have posted a few wins, but that's not what I like best. Other than visiting my pal, the best thing about playing in Florida is the environment in the Emergency Room. Poker etiquette begins with management's insistence that the game be played accordingly, and Dave the houseman has made his game a pleasure in which to play, because he understands this.